Brian and Emily, 4 years and counting

Today is a very special day for me and Brian, today we celebrate four years of being together. If you know us, you may be thinking: idiots, they got married in December of 2007! Can’t they count? But this anniversary (not of when we got married but of when we first committed to each other) is far sweeter in our eyes. By the time we got married, our commitment wasn’t awkward, naive or unsure anymore. It was confident and certain, which has its own merits. But the commitment we made four years ago today, wasn’t as easy. Certainty makes things easy, and commitment to marriage has much more certainty surrounding it. The two stupid and awkward people who committed to each other four years ago had no certainty, only decision (faith, that is…). 

Peter Rollins said in How (Not) to Speak of God, “Doubt provides the context out of which real decision occurs and real love is tested, for love will say ‘yes’ regardless of uncertainty. A love that requires contracts and absolutes in order to act is no love at all.” 

Now, I don’t believe that this devalues our marriage vows in the least, but, instead, I believe it seeks to place at the starting point of our union, not the commitment that was born of confidence, but the one born of faith. This may also turn out to be true of the more difficult renewal of commitment that will take place later in our marriage (when confidence in December of 2007 is even harder to sustain). It will require faith, which, as Rollins says, makes real love possible. 

It’s the same way I feel about falling in love with Jesus, or my “conversion” experience. When was it? Was it when I got my pass into heaven at age 7, when I prayed “the prayer”? Or was it a few years prior when I took my first sweet steps of faith towards him? Or was it at age 13 when I actually started digging into the scriptures for myself? Was at age 16 when I had a major crisis of faith and God reached down from the heavens to rescue me from my adolescence? Or could it have been five years ago when I was so confused and depressed that I wanted to die, and God saved me from that, and I felt as if I was starting all over again, even perhaps understanding grace for the first time? It seems weird, looking back on all these starting points, to give preeminence to “the prayer,” just because it gave me the certainty of heaven. Before I knew of my reward, my little feet were taking faith steps toward God. Something was already beginning before I said “the prayer,” something born of faith, not certainty about a reward. And after I knew of my reward, and had the certainty of heaven, my love for God was tested time and again, but the certainty of heaven couldn’t save it, only childlike steps of faith. 

So, in both the union between me and Brian and between me and God, the real glue, the crux, the starting point, isn’t certainty, but faith.

I don’t go to church…

… I am the church.

Local Police Blotter

The following is this past Friday and Saturday’s police blotter for Durango: 

Friday

4:39 p.m. A woman was yelling obscenities at a child in a car seat in the library parking lot in the 1900 block of East Third Avenue.

5:28 p.m. Two kids were playing with matches in a yard in the 2400 block of Arroyo Drive.

6:38 p.m. A male in the 1100 block of Three Springs Boulevard called 911, muttered something unintelligible about a fire and hung up.

8:45 p.m. A woman in the 500 block of Animas View Drive called 911 to complain that her boyfriend’s 21‑year‑old son splashed water in her face, and hung up.

8:58 p.m. A male with a black mohawk and a black jacket was wondering around the 3000 block of West Second Avenue telling people he’d just been assaulted.

10:12 p.m. A caller was concerned about a fire on the rim of Animas Mountain and thought the wind was picking up.

11:04 p.m. An intoxicated male with a black Mohawk and a black jacket was trespassing in the 3100 block of Main Avenue.

11:49 p.m. A woman complained that her neighbors were drinking and being loud in the 700 block of Animas View Drive. One person had ripped off her glasses.

Saturday

12:28 a.m. Two females were drinking and arguing in the 1200 block of Florida Road.

1:25 a.m. Eight males were fighting in front of a restaurant in the 600 block of Camino del Rio.

3:14 a.m. An intoxicated woman was assaulting a man in Denny’s in the 600 block of Camino del Rio.

4:14 a.m. A caller complained that someone was knocking on his door and leaving before he could see who it was in the 100 block of Camino del Rio.

5:53 a.m. Two underage males were drunk and shoplifting cookies from a store in the 900 block of Camino del Rio. One of the subjects was last seen wearing a blanket and jeans heading east on Ninth Street.

10:19 a.m. A caller reported that another driver had gotten out of his vehicle, threatened to fight him and poked him in the chest in the 3400 block of Main Avenue.

Friday

6:26 p.m. A man called to report that his ex‑girlfriend had his laptop and was threatening to throw it into the river in the 300 block of Horizon Drive.

Fort Lewis College

Friday

3:57 a.m. A woman called campus police from the intersection of east Seventh Street and East Fifth Avenue requesting a ride to Denny’s to see her cousin.

Most items in this column are taken from logs of calls made to authorities. Their accuracy may not have been verified by an official investigation.

I thought some of these were hilarious, and wanted to share them. 

 

Why so few “wheelies” in the pulpit?

I saw this excellent cartoon on asbojesus a little while ago (check out the link, there’s a lot of good stuff on there) and got to thinking about why we see so few wheelchair users in the pulpit (or even deaf or blind pulpiteers, for that matter). I’ve become convinced that this is because we see them as essentially weak, whether or not this is accurate. And weakness is not something we value in our leaders. Leaders who appear weak can’t make us feel safe. We want Captain America. Self-sufficient. Heroic. Basically, we don’t want our spiritual leaders to need God much at all, instead, we want them to BE God. Well, Jesus IS God and he didn’t “consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking on the very form of a slave” (paraphrase from Philippians 2), so why don’t we value leaders who do the same?

While people who recognize their need for God would be much better leaders (whether or not they are wheelchair users), we seem to prefer the strong, charismatic, god-like front man who shows no weakness. Somehow, that makes us feel safe. And when he preaches sermons about relying on God, but in appearance, demonstrates no real need to, we fail to notice how little he really has to offer, at least in personal experience, though he may have much to offer in terms of eloquence, style and the like. 

Along this line of thought, I’ve been wondering why most of the great modern heroes of the faith are not men who will be remembered for their great love, humility, service or generosity to the poor (the most essentially Christ-like characteristics), but rather men who have made very logically sound theological arguments. Because let’s be honest, Calvin and Luther aren’t exactly remembered for their incredible generosity or Christ-like tenderness. They are known more for their theological contributions (which I acknowledge were truly great). But what does this say about Christianity, if our greatest heroes aren’t necessarily our heroes because of being so much like Jesus, and our spiritual leaders are chosen more on the basis of their seeming lack of need for God rather than their visible dependance on him?